If you are on a road to nowhere, find another road.

Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
-Austin Phelps

I ain't got much to say other than I'm having a cold, and it seems like I may have accidently bit myself somewhere inside my mouth while eating 'cause I can feel a small cut now.

Here's an interesting story written by someone from CN that other day when another player asked for ideas on how to start his "stream of conscious" paper.

[19:20] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I can feel the smooth, lined texture of the pencil in my hand. I press the graphite tip to the paper and begin to write, and I can hear the gentle scratching and squeaking of the transfer of my mind to a transferable media."
[19:21] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I slowly begin to remember the last time I wrote something like this... it was just a few days ago, and it was a letter to my beloved, telling her that I had fucked her sister."
[19:22] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Of course, I never sent the letter. I couldn't hurt her like that. So instead, I got her drunk and paid one of my younger brother's friends to feel her up, so that I could break up with her myself."
[19:23] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Honestly, I was just tired of listening to her bitch about how I didn't love her enough, how I didn't pay enough attention, how I fell asleep while she was crying about her dying mother... All in all, it was just too much feminine crap for me to handle."
[19:24] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "So, in the end, I realized that I had to end things, as soon as I could. Of course, I couldn't just break up with her, or I'd never get to fuck her sister again. If I fabricated a reason to break up with her, I'd be in the money, plus her sister would want to fuck me, as a sort of revenge."
[19:27] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "That was the wildest sex I'd ever had. There is honestly nothing better than licking honey off an underage girl's ass while her sister is making you lasagna for dinner, except for maybe doing it while she's tending to her mother's bullet wounds."
[19:28] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Her mother had been shot a few days earlier, in a drug deal gone bad, and the girls and I had agreed that we couldn't take her to the hospital. In the interest of preserving the anonymity of our little smuggling ring, we left her in her bed, with a towel and a sheet of plastic, and about 500 CCs of heroin to keep the pain at bay."
[19:29] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Of course we knew she was going to die, but the girls felt the need to do SOMETHING, so I let them have some of my primo stuff at a reduced price."
[19:35] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I wasn't there when their mother died. I knew damn well that when she finally croaked, Reina would be crying and sniffling and just generally being a girly bitch, so I excused myself politely and went to the local 7/11, where I spent some time chatting it up with Saddam behind the counter, discussing his wife, kids, business prospects, and the like."
[19:38] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "He'd managed to get some good lines on next weekend's peewee football game; namely that the Comets defensive line was all taking steroids. He planned on getting the local bookie to start opening pools for peewee football, and this was as good a time as any, what with an apparently guaranteed win in his pocket."
[19:38] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Of course, I had to find a way to fuck it up."
[19:41] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I wandered over to the payphone outside the gas station and sent in an anonymous tip to the middle school PTA about the Comets' 'roid abuse, and within about four hours the Comets coaches had all been fired and the team was forced to forfeit. My cousin lost about $2k on that deal, which he didn't have in the first damn place, and, last I heard, was still on the run, living out of his Ford Taurus and selling bootlegged DVDs to survive."
[19:47] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I went back to Reina's house and found her on her mother's bedroom floor in tears. The local 'amateur coroner' had come by with his station wagon, spray painted matte black, and disposed of her body for us. She told me that Leanne had gone with him, which, needless to say, pissed me the fuck off. I wasn't going to have my girlfriend's sister/fuck buddy off boning some retard necrophiliac."
[19:48] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I grabbed Reina's keys and drove down to the south end of the lake, where the swamp in which the gravedigger did his work was located, and proceeded to beat the fuck out of 'Donny the Dago', as he was colloquially known, and brought Leanne home, less her fake Gucci purse and a few items of clothing."
[19:53] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Reina was passed out on the floor when we returned, so I took the opportunity to get the fuck out of there and left Leanne to clean up. I didn't see either of them for about a week, until I spotted the both of them on the corner across from the worst housing project in the city, leaning in the window of some crack dealing john with a little too much cash and not quite enough brains to know that a white prostitute in the projects is bad news."
[19:54] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Leanne had a knife to his throat, and Reina was rifling through his wallet. I pulled over behind them and gave a few short toots on my horn, which distracted them long enough for the dumb ass dealer to knock away the knife and squeal away from that corner, sans his wallet."
[19:58] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "They both climbed into my car, and after a few minutes of calm lecturing, and a few more minutes of tears and apologies, I dropped them off in front of Wal-Mart to pick up some decent clothes. They sprinted out a few minutes later with some elderly wannabe hero behind them, waving his fist as they escaped with two pairs of cheap jeans and a pair of only-slightly-less-trashy wife beaters."
[20:04] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "After a stop at Burger King, they asked me to let them off near their mother's pseudo-grave, which was really just the nearest nice tree that was close enough to Donny the Dago's house that it was meaningful, but far enough that they couldn't smell the stench of his 'friends'."
[20:08] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "They got out and kneeled and sobbed for a few minutes, which was a few minutes too long for me. I cranked the radio and pulled away, ignoring them waving in my rear view mirror. They apparently caught a ride with someone that their mother used to buy from, and made it back home just a few minutes too late to die at the hands of a burglar caught in the act. Their father's ashes were missing, along with the television and exactly one square foot of their once-blue-now-stained-brown living room carpet."
[20:12] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "My guess is that some insane meth head decided it would be a good idea to steal the television, which is understandable, as well as the ashes, which is... not understandable. Then, seeing the broken window, some punk ass kid who's living room carpet was the same shit brown color as theirs, realized that he could easily repair the burns on his own carpet that he managed to make when freebasing with a square of theirs."
[20:15] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "But, my guess doesn't really mean shit. All that matters is that Reina, the stupid bitch, decided that it would be a good idea to call the police, with MY CAR in the driveway. MY CAR. The car that I dealt out of. The car full of drugs stuffed into holes in the seats, the car with my gun sitting in fairly plain sight in the back seat, MY CAR."
[20:17] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I pulled out of the driveway as the cops pulled around the corner, and the very next night was the night when my little pal Stevie gave me a damn good reason to dump her."
[20:23] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "Of course, she cried, considering it had only been about a week since her mother died and this was causing her even more stress and blah blah blah bullshit. It was pathetic, the way she ran after me as I walked out the door, and jumped on the hood of my car, and rolled off as I backed out of her driveway. I made the mistake of looking in my rear view mirror, and caught a glimpse of Leanne through the kitchen window, looking somehow straight into my eyes."
[20:32] CaptainJuan[Fark]: "I couldn't take my eyes off hers, even as I heard the horn and the screeching brakes and the shattering glass and the crush of metal and the grinding of the metal on the asphalt and the asphalt on bone."

Very impressive, I say.